


Please Don't Say You Love Me (cause I might not say it back)

by MellMellMell



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Reunion, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-04 08:08:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11551053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellMellMell/pseuds/MellMellMell
Summary: Robert and Aaron start a tentative friendship, eight months after the break up.





	1. This Time I'm Gonna Slow Down

**Author's Note:**

> So I couldn't help myself, the boys need to get back together, and it should be done right. I'm hoping I can do that, that this can be a realistic, and truthful way for them to get back together. 
> 
> The title is Please Don't Say You Love Me by Gabrielle Aplin. I was listening to it and I just thought it would be good for this fic. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy. I've already halfway written chapter teo, and the other three chapters in my head. I think there will be five in all. I know I've started loads of multi chapters, but I can't sleep for the scene going over in my head so I thought I might as well.

**Knock knock**. 

He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but the knock at the door made him jump. He just hadn't been expecting it, nobody ever came to visit. Victoria and Diane came for dinner occasionally, but never unannounced. 

The very last person that Robert expected to see was Aaron Dingle, standing on his doorstep. 

They had been apart for eight months, eight long months and had been in each other's company very few times since. There had been Adams leaving party, and Livs birthday but they had avoided each other for the most part. 

Yet here he was, standing on at his door, and Robert hadn't been able to hide his surprise. 

"Hey". 

"Hi", replied Aaron, looking incredibly unsure of himself, "I-I thought maybe we should talk. It's just, it's been so long and ..". 

"Sure". 

"Can I come in?"

He wanted to say no. God he really wanted to say no. His apartment was his. It was the one place that wasn't haunted by memories of Aaron. The one place he could go, and didn't see Aaron's face. But Aaron was here, standing in front of him, looking so unsure of himself and Robert knew that he would never say no to him. 

"Yeah, course, living rooms through there". 

They walked through the small hall and into the living area in silence. It was awkward, no two ways about it. 

His flat was small, quaint almost. No large glass windows or mod-cons. He hadn't even wanted to view it, but Victoria had pointed out it was nearer the village, nearer to her, to Aaron, so he had. It had felt like a home the moment he walked in. 

"You can sit down Aaron", said Robert lightly, he could see the ghost of a smile appear on Aaron's lips, "do you want something to drink or?".

"Yeah, beer thanks". 

"Oh I eh I don't have any, I'm-I'm not drinking anymore". 

"Oh?"

"Yeah I erm, I thought it best. It's not, I'm not an alcoholic, or at least I'm not alcohol dependant but I do stupid things when I drink, and I'm trying not to". 

"Robert that's amazing".

"My counsellor thought it was a good idea". 

"I'm so proud of you", Robert could hear it, the pride in Aaron's voice. It was too much. 

"Don't Aaron, okay, I -I can't hear that". 

"Well it's true". 

"Tea?", Robert interrupted before Aaron could say anymore. 

"Tea".

Robert made the tea in silence, Aaron following him to the kitchen but not saying anything. Robert could tell he was taking it in. _A new place for a new Robert_ , that's what Liv had said. 

"How's Liv?", asked Robert, as they reentered the living room. 

"I should ask you, she's here more than she's at home", laughed Aaron. 

"Yeah, I seemed to have lost out on my guest bedroom", smirked Robert, "y'know she even put a little mix poster up! And a Harry Styles one, I don't mind that one so much". 

"I remember", laughed Aaron again. Robert couldn't comprehend how good it felt to hear, and how much it hurt. 

"Aaron what are you doing here? You haven't even tried to speak to me in months". 

"Well I-I-I just, truthfully, I woke up this morning and realised that I missed having someone in my life that I could talk to without having to make conversation, y'know? I mean mum is great, but it's all "how are you? Are you coping today?", so is Paddy. Faith is mad, Cain is Cain, Liv is Liv, and there is no one since Adams left that I just feel normal with, comfortable, and I dunno, I guess-I guess, I just missed you. You, as my friend. I didn't just lose my husband that day I lost my best friend-"

"Adams your best friend?", interrupted Robert, more out of shock than anything else. Aaron was his best friend, he always knew he wasn't Aaron's. 

"Yeah but so are you, of course you are Robert, you're my best friend". 

Aaron could see the emotions crossing Robert face as they happened upon him. The shock, followed by confusion and then the tiny glimmer of hope that led to the fond way Robert was now looking at him. 

"And", continued Aaron, "I couldn't bring myself to watch Game of Thrones without you. Partially because it you, and it just reminds me of you and partly because without you to explain what's happening, I really don't think I'd have a clue what's going on". 

"You-you're here to watch Game of Thrones?"

"Yeah, I mean I could watch with Liv, because I know she watching it, but I'm really not comfortable with that-"

"Understandable"

"Exactly", replied Aaron. 

A few seconds past, in which they just sat smiling at each other, it was familiar, unspoken like it used to be. _Banter between the eyes_. That's what Belle had said at Christmas. 

"Soooo... wanna watch it?", asked Aaron, who was looking unsure again. Like he had when he first arrived. 

"Yeah, yeah course", smiled Robert. 

He couldn't believe how lucky he had got. That Aaron, his Aaron was sitting on his couch, actively wanting to spend time with him. It was more than he could comprehend. 

"Can I have another cup of tea?"

"Yeah", replied Robert, "Toast?"

"Yes", answered Aaron, making them both laugh.


	2. Heavy Words Are Hard To Take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron are having a quiet drink in the pub. When Rebecca and the baby come in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Rebecca is in this one, but I felt she had to be at some point. In my version of events the baby is Ross's. 
> 
> Sorry it's taken so long to update when I said I would be quick. But dropping my phone, with all my notes, into the bath really hindered me somewhat! Now I've recovered from the shock, unfortunately Belle the phone has not been so lucky, I am using the laptop.

It was just meant to be a quiet drink in the pub. Just two friends hanging out, like friends do. It didn't matter that what his mum said, they didn't hang out more than other friends did. It was normal, healthy. 

And it had been nice, really nice, if Aaron thought about it, (which he didn't), but he had known the moment the door opened, and Roberts whole body language had changed that it had to be her. 

Rebecca. 

He may have had his back to the door, but the expression on Roberts face, and the tension in his shoulders could only mean one thing. It made him wish that he had asked Robert what had happened. He only knew the basics. That Rebecca had gone into labour early, or so everyone thought, and three months after the birth it had all come out. That had been a month ago, and even though it had been over a week since he turned up at Roberts door, and they had seen each other everyday since, he had never asked. 

He could hear Rebecca at the bar, asking Debbie if she had seen Ross, he thought she said something about an appointment but he wasn't overly listening. He was too busy watching Robert, who was looking into the pram with an unreadable expression. Well, unreadable to most thought Aaron, but he could see the fondness in his eyes. 

"I'll watch him", he heard Robert say, and it pulled Aaron directly out of his thoughts, "I'll watch him", repeated Robert. 

"You don't-", started Rebecca but Robert cut him off. 

"Do you need help or not Rebecca?"

"Yes, thank you so much Robert, you're-", 

"It's fine, everything in the bag?"

"Yeah, he's just had a bottle, but he has some appetite so if he's upset there is more in there," Aaron could see she looked like she wanted to say more but was unsure, after a beat she did, "Again Robert, thanks, this is- well, I mean... I think he misses you." 

And with that she left.

He watched as Robert took a deep breath, and then lifted the smiling little boy from his pram. 

He knew, from his limited experience with babies that Rebecca was probably right, because he was positively beaming. A huge grin had enveloped his whole face, and his eyes were twinkling. So were Roberts.

"I know what you're thinking", spoke Robert evenly, never taking his eyes off the little boy. 

"Oh?"

"Why?", continued Robert, "Why did I offer to watch him?"

"It had crossed my mind".

"I miss him too", said Robert. Aaron could tell how much the words had meant, he may not have said it, but he knew Robert well enough, knew their relationship well enough, to know that this was the first time Robert had admitted it out loud. He never said a word, just waited for Robert to continue, "When I found out Rebecca was pregnant, all I wanted was for her to get rid of him. But when he was born, I loved him instantly, because he was my son, or at least I though he was. But then something happened, and I started to love him, not just because he's my son, but for him. For his smile, and his laugh and his personality. That love doesn't just leave."

"I'm so sorry Robert".

"Don't be, it is what it is. I just can't blame him just because his mother is a liar and his dad an arse".

Both men laughed at that, causing the little boy to giggle. Aaron watched as Roberts smile grew, and as Robert tickled the little boys tummy making him laugh harder. Aaron could see the bond between them, it was so plainly there. Aaron was not going to think about how that made him feel, and he certainly hadn't imagined what it would be like if the little boy was theirs. 

"You said", started Robert, "that I was your best friend now that Adam's gone. Well when you were gone, this little boy was mine. I don't even want to start explaining what it was like when you were both gone. I'm not even sure which was worse."

Something inside Aaron, the part he was working to rid himself off, said that he should be upset, angry, that losing the reason for their split might have hurt more than losing him. However the calm, rational part, the part that cared about Robert, it understood. And it had nothing to say to help make it better. 

"I helped name him and everything", continued Robert, "His name is Laurie. After Lawrence. I hated it at first, but then I remembered that Mum used to always read Little Women every Christmas, and well, it seemed right".

"He's very cute", said Aaron. He wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say, but it was true, and he could think of nothing else. 

"Yeah, he is. You are aren't you little Laurie, so cute", Aaron was unable to stop the grinning at the 'baby voice' Robert had adopted to speak to Laurie. "Who knew someone who looks so much like Ross Barton could be so cute. Don't even say anything Aaron, I know why you were stealing cars with him all those years ago".

"I refuse to even reply to that", laughed Aaron, "he had nothing on the guy who's car we stole".

"Very true". 

They lapsed into silence as Laurie started to gurgle for his bottle. Aaron got them another two pints, and then watched as Robert expertly made the bottle, whispering soothing words into the baby's ear as he did. Nothing was said as Robert gave him the bottle, and they both watched as he gulped it down. It was so natural, the way Robert interacted with him. He had heard Vic say, in the very first weeks, that Robert had taken to fatherhood well, and it was obvious how true that was. 

He continued to watch Robert interact with the baby. He watched as Laurie finished his bottle and began to fall asleep. He watched as Robert managed to burp him without waking him, and how he gently placed the sleeping baby in to the pram. He watched as Robert smiled down at him and delicately placed the covers over him. He watched as Robert smile faded when Ross walking into the pub, coming straight over to fetch his son. He watched as they exchanged stilted words; Robert explaining how he had been, Ross explaining again that Rebecca was so grateful. He watched as Ross left with the pram. And shortly after, he watched as Robert said his goodbyes and left too.


	3. A Photograph Without A Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron joins live for their weekly movie night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a new phone! A shiny new red iPhone 7 that I am totally in love with. She is still to be named, so suggestions are welcome. I'm thinking Daenerys. But I haven't decided. 
> 
> Anyway that means (hopefully) I can get back to writing more. I must preferred writing on my phone to the laptop. 
> 
> So I hope you enjoy this one, it's more or a gap filler for the next few, and I missed roblivion terribly.

It was Thursday night, which only meant one thing; movie night. 

Liv came every Thursday for one, even before they had started to be friends again. After she had fell asleep during the first three movies, it had been decided it would also be the night she stayed over. She had redecorated his spare bedroom quite quickly after. Robert had noted to her, when she appeared with a couple tins of mint green paint, two paint brushes and an array of posters, how conveniently it had been that she had just had this stuff laying around. She had agreed, with a smirk, and had yet to fall asleep during a movie since. 

It had been a few days since the incident in the pub, and they had only spoken through text since then. 

Aaron was trying not to think of how much he missed Robert. He was not thinking of it when he asked Liv if he could join the movie night. He was not thinking of it when he text Robert to make sure it was okay. And he was still not thinking of it now, as he knocked on his door. 

"You know we could have used my key", snapped Liv impatiently, swinging the key around her fingers. 

"No, Liv, we couldn't alright, it's Roberts house I can't just go barging in". 

"Nooo, because it would be such a shock when you turned up for our prearranged movie night bang on time", spoke Liv sarcastically, "you're right, the shock might just have given him a heart attack". 

"Shut up Liv", spoke Aaron, though he couldn't help but laugh slightly. 

Seconds later and the door opened, Robert standing in the doorway with his hair flat and his tracksuit bottoms and t-shirt on. 

"Why didn't you use your key?", asked Robert, clearly confused about having to answer the door. 

Aaron noticed that she has quietly slipped the key into her pocket. 

"Oh I... I left it at the Mill by mistake", answered Liv, before marching into her bedroom and ditching her stuff. Aaron made a mental note to thank her later. 

"Well, are you coming in then?", asked Robert. 

"Yeah", replied Aaron, a little too slow, hoping that Robert hadn't noticed him staring. 

He walked down the hall, and into the living room. He had more time to take in his surroundings this time. Well maybe not more time, but he felt slightly less awkward than last time, after just turning up unannounced. 

As he looked around he could see more of Robert in the flat. Pictures of Robert with various people. Pictures of Robert and Vic, Robert and Diane, Robert and Liv. None with him in to though, he noted. 

"You look so different in this one", laughed Aaron, pointing to a particularly old one of him and Andy. 

"Yeah, that was before I left the village, I've changed a lot since then". 

They smiled at one another, it was becoming _a moment_. That what Liv had taken to calling it.

"So I brought popcorn", annouched Liv as she threw herself onto the corner of the sofa, crossing her legs and throwing the popcorn bag at Robert, who caught it and laughed. 

"Well I'll just go and put it in the microwave your highness", laughed Robert, bowing low as he spoke. 

Aaron watched as Liv burst out laughing, and affectionately called him a "dork". 

"Tea?", asked Robert, to which Aaron nodded yes, and then followed him through to the kitchen. 

It was silent, just like the last time he had been here. He wasn't sure what to say. The afternoon in the pub had thrown him for a loop, and he wasn't sure wither or not to bring it up. 

Thankfully Robert made that decision for him. 

"I'm sorry, about the other day, with Laurie. I should never have volunteered to watch him with you there". 

Aaron watched him as he spoke, noting that not once had Robert looked at him. He looked so small, it was obvious how much losing Laurie had meant. 

"It's fine", replied Aaron, "I .. can see how much he meant to you. I'm sorry for the way it's all worked out". 

"Me too", whispered Robert, "I might see him again, and I wanted you to know that. Just in case you saw us". 

Aaron just nodded, unable to comprehend why Robert would want to. But then he had never loved a child and then lost it, he thought. 

"I know it's stupid, but I just think, he's gonna need someone around who isn't .... Rebecca or Ross cause the are utter morons, and well I might not be the best person but I am _a_ person". 

"You'd be the very best person, you've proven that much just by considering it". 

Robert smiled a smile so wide Aaron was sure his face would burst. And that his own heart might also. 

"Him and Liv might be the closest I ever get to having children; I wanna make sure they are good". 

"They are lucky to have you", replied Aaron, "and I'm sure they won't be. The great Robert Sugden shouldn't find it hard to meet someone". 

He regretted the words as soon as he said them. He could see the confusion flash across Roberts face. He could see the hurt. 

"Well they are enough for now", spoke Robert quietly, before regaining his composure, "but I just wanted to let you know. Now I think we should take our tea, the popcorn and watch a movie". 

"Sounds good to me", smiled Aaron.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! x


End file.
